So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
