if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
