Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
