Quick, to the slutcave!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
