Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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