I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
