Fuck appropriateness.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
