Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize