is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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