I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
