We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
