I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
