Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
