take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Randomize
