Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
