if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
