That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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