did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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