I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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