Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
