but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
