You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
