I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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