i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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