What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
