what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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