dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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