i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Holy sore nipples Batman
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
