He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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