apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
