she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
