well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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