There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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