The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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