I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i believe in u and ur pee
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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