Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
