he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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