do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
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he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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