watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
