I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
