I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
