he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
that's an acceptable place to lick
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
