So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
