I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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