I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
