Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
