Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dicks are not precious.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
