hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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