Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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