Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
