i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
