"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
