PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
