Got a toothbrush?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
