I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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