This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
