and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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