Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
