Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
