Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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