Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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