i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
