Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm really busy with my period
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