just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
