I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
