the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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