life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
