While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
