called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
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I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.