He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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