why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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